It’s interesting how we sometimes second guess our motives and reasons behind the decisions we make.
I don’t think I am unique, and I guess most people know what its like when work, family commitments, ongoing illness/health issues and life in general take over and seem to rule your world and there never seems enough time or physical and mental energy to do all that needs doing, let alone follow dreams and achieve things that are little more than wispy glimpses of what can be.
I have had a particular art project planned since I first started blogging way back in 2006 – actually its just one of many projects that have been put on hold indefinitely in recent years, but this one I keep going back to, seeing how the idea could be adjusted to fit into a schedule that I could manage and trying to implement parts of it without any great success, primarily I think because I need to approach the project holistically in order to achieve what I want to achieve.
Although I feel like I am running flat out without achieving any forward movement lately, I have also felt that a shift is taking place that will finally allow me to make the progress in the directions I want to take, so I have tried to accept the limited progress that I appear to be making, believing that this shift will occur (even if its not as quick as I would like!).
Then all of a sudden, boom! The negative thoughts and second guessing come in and I wonder why I have wasted so much mental energy on things that I just can’t seem to make happen, no matter how much I try and I feel that I might as well just give up on some ideas that have long held importance. I got to that point today.
Strangely enough, if I had read Robert Genns newsletter that I received yesterday, I wouldn’t have got to that point today. And yet it would not have had such an impact on me if I had read it yesterday. Strangely enough, being pushed for time, tired and trying to clear my inbox I was going to simply delete the newsletter without reading anyway.
I did however open another email form an artist group I belong to and what did I find but the very same Robert Genns newsletter for September 2, 2008 “Working your muses.”
Robert writes “The first thing you have to do is separate your true muses from your false muses. Your true muses are those that turn you on, interest you, excite you and motivate you to explore further. Both true and false muses are generated in early childhood, and sorting them out can save a lot of trouble in later art and life. Fact is, we’re often pretty true to ourselves until our teenage years. That’s when derailment happens–jobs, obligations, family and social pressures, love interests…
…Artists often find themselves trying to sort things out in middle life. These folks need to go back to their earliest dreams. By recalling the places and occurrences of childhood, they can bring up and clarify both positive and negative muses. You need to go with the positive ones–the ones that give good feelings. There are such an abundance of positive ones….
…Identifying your early positive muses gives keys to life’s direction–at least to paths worth checking out….
…Artists who dig up true muses need to connect them to exploratory work. Without this step muses stay dreams forever. The works themselves need only be seen as assays. They become a continuing evaluation of the nature of the given muse. Some are infinite in complexity and may require many lifetimes. Here lies the miracle of making art. Connected to the part of you that is true is the key to an eternity of somewhat pleasant frustration, occasional quality and joyous satisfaction. Not a bad job when you think of it…”
I take it that one way or another I was meant to read Roberts message, and boy was it relevant! So I will keep following my muse, even if I can only spend 5 or 10 minutes a week developing the project to the point that it comes to fruition, I know that my muse can and should be pursued for this one.
I’m not sure that the thoughts and ramblings of this very tired artist are even coherent tonight, and I do apologize for that, but I would like to thank Robert for yesterday’s newsletter and share the link to the full article inRobert’s twice weekly newsletter so that other artists can subscribe to his words of wisdom;)
Oh, and about my project? I’ll mention more when it is closer to being ready, subscribe to my “Paws in The Paint” email newsletter to receive the announcement!
